While comfortably ensconced on the couch, I use the corn chip to shovel salsa into my mouth.
Fleegle supervises, sitting as near to me as he can without being me. “Raud, you’re going to get fat if you don’t share. Or should I say, fatter.”
I pause to look at him, the chip in my hand frozen between the tub of salsa and my mouth. “You have it all wrong, Fleegle. You’re going to get fatter if I do share. Think of me eating this chip as a favor to you. I’m saving you from yourself, from your Labrador food obsession.”
“I’ll drool to death and die of dehydration before I ever get fat. Between Buck’s calorie free biscuits and your selfishness, I’m wasting away to skin and bones.”
I pop the chip in my mouth. I few bits drop to the floor. “Look, Fleegle, chips,” I say, pointing at them.
He ignores them, his eyes on the bag. “Those are crumbs, and I’m not your floor-cleaner.”
“But I thought you liked crumbs.”
“I do, but if I leave them there maybe they’ll attract mice, and I can eat mice.”
“Desperate measures for desperate times.”
I stand up and head for the kitchen utility closet.
“Where are you going?”
“To get the broom and dust pan.”
“But what about the mice?”
I pull a chip out of the bag and offer it to him. “Here, have one.”
He looks at it, not taking it until he gets it the way he wants. “With salsa too, please.”
And Fleegle’s sloppy sit-stays made me think he lacked impulse control.