The Escapades of Rowdy & Mr. Mutt

Chapter One – Tic-Tac-Toe

On a blustery fall day, golden yellow leaves drift across a pale blue sky. Rowdy sits underneath a large chestnut tree on the edge of a sandbox, playing tic-tac-toe against himself. He’d been inside the house winning against one of his older sisters, but she got mad at losing and the other three got mad at the noise of them arguing and eventually all four sisters shouted, “Go play outside!”

He knows sisters are weird, but he’s beginning to wonder if his have developed a hivemind.

When he draws another X in the sand with his lucky stick, he sees that the game is going to be another dud where no one wins. He puts another handful of popcorn in his mouth from the bag of popcorn leftover from his earlier game of popcorn catch, and thinks, I’m just too good to beat, even when I’m playing against myself, even with my lucky stick. But you always want to keep trying, at least that’s what his inventor dad said about robot battles over pancakes this morning. He erases the game with his foot and draws the lines for the next one with the now butter stained stick.

In the woods behind the house, a big brown mutt of a dog chases after a white butterfly as it weaves its way through the Douglas fir trees. He looks to be a mix of a giant Labrador Retriever, mastiff, and a basset hound with big floppy ears. As he chases after the butterfly, he wonders what the flitter-flyers smell like, but he’s only gotten close enough to smell hints of vanilla in the puffs of air below its wings.

As the dog’s pursuit takes him closer to the edge of the woods, he hears the boy’s voice and slows to listen.

“See? I just can’t be beat. I’m the king of tic-tac-toe!” the boy’s voice sounds through the trees.

The dog breaks off his chase and walks to the edge of the forest where there is a woodshed full of firewood. He sees the boy sitting on the edge of the sandbox, playing another game of tic-tac-toe. The stick the boy is using to draw Xs and Os in the sand gets his attention. It’s a really nice stick, bare of bark and about two feet long, and the Labrador Retriever in him appreciates a good stick. And it seems the boy does too, the dog thinks, that’s a good sign because not many people do.

The boy feels a tingle at the back of his neck, like someone is watching him, and turns to see the dog amble up to him. “Hi, Dog. Where did you come from?” He reaches over, scratches the dog’s neck and finds no collar. “Are you a stray?”

The dog sees the lines freshly drawn in the sand for the next game of tic-tac-toe. With his front right paw, he scratches a mark in one of the squares. His mouth waters at the sight and scent of the stick. It looks very chewable and smells very unique to his big basset hound nose, not like anything he’s ever smelled in the woods before.

The boy looks at the marked square and his eyebrows shoot up. “You can play?”

The dog scratches the same square again.

The boy draws an O in the sand with the prize stick and the game commences. The dog goes next, then the boy again. It’s a close game, but the dog wins on his fourth move.

The boy stands, puts his hands on his hips and tilts his head to the side, and stares at the game. “Hey, how’d you do that?” He looks at the dog, pondering his appearance. “Maybe you ran away from a circus? Well, if you are from a circus, I’m sure glad you escaped.”

The dog just wags his tail in response, then snatches the stick out of the boy’s hand and claims it as his prize for winning the game. As he gives it a few chomps, a squirrel catches his attention. The squirrel vibrates his bushy tail high above his little head, stares at the dog, and lets out a long hut-hut-hut cackle, then runs into the woods.

The dog’s fur goes up as he bolts after the squirrel and disappears into the woods. Rowdy listens as the crashes of branches fade to silence in the distance. He waits for the dog to come back, but then the rain starts and finally his mom calls him in to dinner.

Do I have a story to tell everyone at dinner or what? he thinks as he heads inside, glancing back one last time to see if there’s any sign of the dog.

Note: This is a children’s story I am working on. There are ten chapters.

Forget the Biscuits, Gimme Tacos – Burger God

I used to daydream that my dogs understood me when I spoke to them. I’d make up their responses and speak out loud for them in a goofy voice. They came to recognize this goofy dog voice of mine and would get excited when they heard it. I’d carry on conversations between my dogs and myself in these voices, a sensible one for me and a goofy one for them, imagining how cool it would be if it were real, if they really were thinking what I was saying in this goofy dog voice. I used to think it would make life with dogs so much simpler. Ask them what they wanted, and they could tell me. I’d done this all my life up till a few days ago, when I no longer had to.

“I’m not eating this,” Hamish says, putting his nose up at the kibble I just scooped into his bowl.

Franny looks up from her already empty bowl. “I’ll eat it.”

I give her a stern look. “No you won’t. You already had yours.”

“But I’m still hungry.”

“No. You need to lose weight,” I say.

“But if I lose weight, I’ll be cold and light as an earth worm and the birds will carry me away to some far away tree branch and eat me.”

Hamish shoves his bowl away with his snout. “I’m not eating this. It has rat poop in it.”

“So that’s what that was.” Huckleberry licks the crumbs off his lips. “I’ve been wondering all week what that new flavor was.”

Hamish pokes at his food with his snout. “It’s been there since he opened the new bag.”

“What?” I ask. Continue reading “Forget the Biscuits, Gimme Tacos – Burger God”

Forget the Biscuits, Gimme Tacos – Dog Tongues

I get the stepladder from the garage, open it up under the flickering kitchen ceiling light and up I climb. My three dogs gather around to watch. We spend so much time together it’s as if I can hear their thoughts.

“What’s Raud doing up on that ladder?” wonders Hamish, a honey-brown Labrador and golden retriever mix and the youngest of the three.

“This is new. Maybe it involves food,” thinks Franny, the calorically challenged yellow Lab.

“Is there a ball up there?” wonders Huckleberry, the chocolate Lab. He’s obsessed with anything that can be thrown so that he can retrieve it. But some things are better for retrieving, like his ball, which is always nearby. At the moment he’s dropped it at the base of the ladder. “You could really throw it far from up there, Raud.”

As I unscrew the knob that holds the frosted glass bowl over the light, the memory of installing these lights to replace the fluorescent tube lights crosses my mind’s eye. The fluorescent light felt too much like an office. I put the knob in my shirt pocket and lower the glass bowl, placing it on the step ladder’s fold-out shelf where the paint bucket goes, dried blue and cream paint drippings surround it. I check the bulb’s fit. It’s loose like I thought, so I tighten it, then replace the glass bowl and screw the knob back in place.

Standing on the stepladder, I look about for the next distraction, avoiding going back to the drawing lessons on the drafting table. Learning to draw cartoons takes more concentration than I realized. Outside, it’s raining hard. The gentle patter on the patio awning has become a steady growl. Though it’s only midday, it’s dusk out there.

When lighting strikes so close there’s no separation between the flash and the boom, my whole body startles so badly I lose my balance. As I fall, I reach out to grab the edge of the kitchen counter, but I’m too slow and the blue Formica swoops up toward my head. Continue reading “Forget the Biscuits, Gimme Tacos – Dog Tongues”

Mold Box

A mold box takes shape. Today I will be using the green goo instead of the blue because it’s more flexible. The backs of the ears are tapered in such a way that I’ll need that flex to get it out of the mold without cracking them.

The Hydrant

When Arthur arrived at the cafe, the hostess seated him outside on the sidewalk patio at his favorite table right in the midst of the diners where the people watching was best. He ordered a glass of wine, not because he liked it but because he didn’t. It would last a long time and he didn’t want to get drunk, not tonight, not with what he’d learned this morning.

The middle-aged couple on his right were discussing current events. He eavesdropped for a bit but they were just boringly parroting talking points they’d picked up from television news like something they’d tracked in on their shoes. Besides, Arthur knew all that was just lies fed to the public to keep them engaged enough to be complacent but not so engaged that they started digging for the truth and got mad. You see, Arthur had found the perfect source for news, one that never lied and was honest to a fault.

A month or so ago at the beginning of spring, he had been weeding around the fire hydrant in his front yard by the curb when he was struck by an odd smell. As he sniffed the air trying to identify it, he started to hear voices in his head and see images in his mind’s eye, as if he was watching other people’s memories, but then he started hearing even stranger voices commenting on what he was hearing and seeing. There he was on all fours, sniffing the air next to the fire hydrant, and he felt like he was watching a show next to someone who was giving a running commentary on what they were watching.

Continue reading “The Hydrant”