Fleegle is curled up on the den couch. “I don’t feel so good.”
“For a chocolate dog, you look mighty green. Is that grass stuck in your front teeth?” I pull it out for him. “So much for your duck treats, eh? Did you throw up?”
He nods. “By the back gate near the garbage cans.”
“Poor dog.”
“And in the flower beds.”
“Poor flowers.”
“And in your shoes by the bed.”
“Poor Raud.”
Previous: Negotiating with Cookies #8 – Ducks and Geese
Start at the beginning: Negotiating with Cookies #1 – Stinky Butt
“Look, Raud, a stork with a baby,” Fleegle shouts from his seat on the couch overlooking the backyard through the den window.
A seagull with a Subway sandwich wrapper in its beak flies by.
“Not big enough,” I say.
A little while later, he asks, “What about them? They’re huge.”
Ducks and geese land in the yard, well fed and plump from a mild winter.
“Nope, they’re not storks. Go chase them away before they poop all over the patio.”
He remains seated on the couch. “Are you sure they’re not storks? Maybe they’re in disguise.”
“Storks won’t land if ducks are in the yard.”
“Oh,” he says, then bolts through the double flaps of the dog door into the yard. “Woof, woof.”
A little later Fleegle comes inside through his dog door, a green smear on his snout.
I ask, “What’s that on your nose?”
His tongue darts out and swipes both sides of his mouth, slicking back his whiskers and getting rid of the evidence. “Nothing.”
“What’s that sheepish expression on your face for then?”
“You told me to chase the ducks and geese away, but you didn’t tell me they made such yummy treats.”
“You didn’t?”
He licks his lips again. “I did.”
Next: Negotiating with Cookies #9 – Feeling Green
Previous: Negotiating with Cookies #7 – Om
Start at the beginning: Negotiating with Cookies #1 – Stinky Butt
In the backyard, I sit down cross-legged on the grass, close my eyes and begin to meditate. I count my breaths and try to clear my mind, and just when mental silence dawns, a wet nose bumps me in the back of my neck.
“Whatcha doin?” Fleegle asks, circling around to my front.
“Meditating.”
“What’s that?”
“A way to make contact with my higher self.” The words are no sooner out of my mouth before my curiosity prods me to open my eyes to see if he’s staring up at the sky. He is.
“How high up did you say he was?” he asks.
I look into the sky where he’s looking. “At this rate, very high up, maybe even beyond the stratosphere.”
“Stratosphere?” he ponders the word. “Does he look like you?”
“My higher self? In a sense, yes.”
Not seeing anything, he raises his nose high and sniffs the breeze, his snout twitching back and forth. “Well, I don’t think he’s anywhere nearby unless he smells like what the cat next door just left in little Jimmy’s sandbox. Maybe your meditation remote needs new batteries.”
“Meditation doesn’t require a remote.”
“Are you sure? Everything else you do does.”
Next: Negotiating with Cookies #8 – Ducks and Geese
Previous: Negotiating with Cookies #6 – Flies and Opossums
Start at the beginning: Negotiating with Cookies #1 – Stinky Butt
“What’s that you got in your crate?” I ask Fleegle, pointing at something small and black inside it.
His tail wags. “Well, Raud, that’s one of your remotes. I think it’s to the television.”
I look at him suspiciously. “What’s it doing in there?”
He sits, his tail now sweeping the floor behind him. “Think of it as me tossing a cookie in there for you.”
“Ha ha, very funny.” I get down on all fours and crawl in to retrieve the remote, still wet with dog slobber, but thankfully not yet chewed on. The crate door bangs against my feet. “What are you doing out there?”
“I’m giving my crate to you and you’re moving in. Now that it’s yours, do you want a stuffed Kong to chew on while I’m out carousing the neighborhood with my friends?”
Next: Negotiating with Cookies #4 – The Garage Sale
Previous:Negotiating with Cookies # 2 – The Crate
Start at the beginning: Negotiating with Cookies #1 – Stinky Butt
I hold the crate door open for Fleegle.
He stands his ground and stares at me. “No. I’m not going in my crate.”
“Why not?” I ask.
“Because.”
“Because what?”
“How come it’s my crate? Why isn’t it yours?”
I look at the crate, which is small for me, then back at him. “Well, have you ever seen me get in it?”
“If you get in I’ll get in.”
“I’m sure you would. That would be very cozy.”
“I like cozy.”
“I know you do,” I say and toss a dog cookie in the back of the crate.
“Oh boy, a cookie,” he says as he runs in after it. His tail thumps against the inside of the crate as the cookie crunches inside his mouth.
I put a Kong stuffed with frozen peanut butter in behind him and close the door. He hears the latch close and turns around to face the door.
“Cat butt! I fell for it again, didn’t I?”
“Yes, you did.”
Next: Negotiating with Cookies #3 – The Remote
Start at the beginning: Negotiating with Cookies #1 – Stinky Butt
I’m in my den reading, when Fleegle, the chocolate Lab, walks in. “Hello, Mr. Stinky Butt,” I say, using one of my many endearments for him.
“My butt doesn’t stink,” he says. “I can reach around and lick it. It’s always clean.”
“So that’s what that goobering sound is in the middle of the night that wakes me.”
“Yep, doesn’t stink one bit. In fact I try to keep other dogs clean too by licking their butts. You’re the one with the stinky butt because you can’t reach yours. You want me to help you with that?”
“Um, no, but thanks. I think I’ll just continue to stink, if that’s okay with you.”
“I don’t mind, Raud, because I love you with or without your stinky butt.”
Next: Negotiating with Cookies #2 – The Crate
Gnawing the Bone 