Negotiating with Cookies – Take-Out

Fleegle and I are in the car on our way to our first dog walking appointment when Fleegle says, “Raud, the Seaweed Men came again last night.”

“The who?”

“I call them the Seaweed Men because they smell like seaweed, but they don’t really look like men, more like children with really big hairless heads.”

“You must’ve been dreaming, and we both know how weird your dreams can be.”

“Nope, I wasn’t dreaming. I was wide awake, though I couldn’t move. I never can when the Seaweed Men show up, can’t even bark to wake you up.”

I stop the car for a red light. “What do these Seaweed Men do?”

“Oh, they usually float you through a hole in the bedroom ceiling and you’re gone for a few hours.”

“But there isn’t a hole in the bedroom ceiling.”

“I know that and you know that, but they don’t. If they want a hole there, there’s a hole.”

“I think I’d remember any nighttime excursions that involved levitations and passing through ceilings.” The light turns green and I step on the gas.

“Nah, you sleep through it every time.”

“Every time? How long have these Seaweed Men been coming?”

“As long as I can remember?”

“That’s at least three years and you’re just telling me now?”

“They didn’t ask me not to this time.”

“I see.”

“I think they just forgot. But don’t worry about it, they always bring you back.” He stands up in his seat and wags his tail. “Is it time for my lunch yet? I could really go for some California rolls right about now, with an extra wrap of seaweed, how about you?”


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Negotiating with Cookies – Shop ‘Till You Drop

While on a walk in town among all the holiday shoppers, Fleegle says, “There sure are a lot of people carrying packages.”

“That’s because it’s the Christmas shopping season and people are filling the emotional void they feel with buying stuff for one another.”

“Like when you give me food to fill the void in my belly when I’m hungry?”

“Yes, just like that.”

Fleegle thinks on this a moment as we walk some more, then asks, “And what do they do later when they’re hungry again?”

“They return what they were given and buy something else.”

“And when they’ve finished their ‘business’ with that and are hungry again?”

“They surf eBay for impulse buys.”

“People sure do spend a lot of time on their shopping. What do they do with all the stuff?”

“If they’re lucky, they have an attic, and then after a year or so they take a carload of donations to Goodwill.”

“At least when I eat and do my ‘business’ it’s biodegradable.”

I scratch my head. “I wonder if old stuff at Goodwill is just a slower form of biodegrading.”


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