Tag: Serial Fiction

Negotiating with Cookies – Sunny-side Up

Published on by Raud KennedyLeave a comment

“Have you thought anymore about getting a cat?” Fleegle asks.

“Umm… No.”

“What about a duck? Ducks are nice. I like the sound of their quacks.”

“No, nor geese.”

“Aren’t geese ducks?”

“Geese are white.”

“Like the goose that laid the golden egg?” he asks.

“Yes, white like that goose.”

“What do you think was in that golden egg? What do you think came out when it hatched?”

“Maybe a golden goose.”

Fleegle’s eyes grow big and wide. “Or a golden retriever that lays white eggs.”

“Those would be big eggs.”

“And what do you think would hatch out of them?” He grins. “Puppies?”

“Puppies are born, not hatched.”

“So that egg I’ve been keeping warm at night under my pillow won’t hatch a little brother?”

“You keep an egg under your pillow?”

“Well, since you don’t want to get me a cat or a duck or a goose, I thought I’d try to hatch a dog, or at the least, a chicken.”

“Where’d you get the egg?”

“From the fridge.”

“Since when can you open the fridge?”

“Since you taught me to open my dog cabinet to put away my toys.”

“Hmm… and I thought I was going senile when that ham on the bottom shelf went missing. Well, just make sure your egg stays under your pillow and doesn’t get under mine.”

“Afraid of osmosis and waking up talking chicken?”

“More like waking up with a deadly fear of short order cooks.”

 

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Negotiating with Cookies – Fleegle’s Multiverse

Published on by Raud Kennedy1 Comment

“How big is the universe?” Fleegle asks.

“It’s so big we don’t know how big it is.”

“That’s no answer.”

“I know, but there’s more. Some think there could be more than one universe. We might live in a multiverse of more universes than we can count.”

“I can count to ten, and sometimes up to thirteen when it involves treats.”

“And in this multiverse might be a world just like Earth but with an alternate timeline where dinosaurs never went extinct and you can count up to thirteen even when it doesn’t involve treats.”

“You mean a world where dogs ride T-Rex dinosaurs in parades like horses and you humans follow in the golf cart with the flat shovels?”

“Umm… yeah, something like that.”

“Oh, look at the time. It just flies listening to you chatter on about science. Let’s get you outside for your walk. Go fetch your leash, Raud.”

 

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Negotiating with Cookies – Fleegle Daydreams

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“How many stars are in the sky?” Fleegle asks, sprawling on his back in the yard at night.

“More than you can see,” I say, sitting by the fire pit. “There are even more that are so far away they are too dim to see without a telescope.”

Fleegle’s eyes shimmer in the firelight. “Do they have planets too, like our sun?”

“Some do. Did you know it rains diamonds on Saturn?”

“Diamonds are boring,” Fleegle says. “Now if you told me it rains taco grease, that would be useful information. I’d work for the sanitation department.” He slicks back his whiskers with his tongue. “I’d get a job as a street cleaner.”

“And I’d get a job as a dog groomer.” I scratch my head. “Or maybe that would be a dog degreaser, shampoo you with Palmolive.”

 

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Negotiating with Cookies – Fleegle Supervises

Published on by Raud Kennedy1 Comment

I’m in the kitchen cooking tacos for dinner when the rubber flaps to the dog door in the office make their familiar flip-flap sound and Fleegle ambles into the kitchen loudly sniffing the air.

“I smell taco smorgasbord sautéing,” he says, siding me at the stove. “You’ll need me to supervise. First thing you need to do is add more meat.”

I add the rest of the ground beef I was planning on putting in anyway.

“That’s a good boy, Raud. Reward yourself with a treat, have an almond.”

I reach into the bag of wasabi almonds on the counter that I was snacking on.

“But only one. I’ll tell you if you deserve a jackpot or not.” A jackpot is a handful of treats, or in my case, a handful of wasabi almonds, paid out like a slot machine when a new skill is mastered. He sniffs the air. “Add more oregano and basil.”

I do as told, then anticipating his next request, I reach for the cayenne pepper and hold it ready.

“Good boy, you’re catching on. Add the cayenne and then treat yourself to one almond.”

“But doesn’t anticipating your next move deserve a jackpot?” I ask, really craving a handful of wasabi almonds.

“It might’ve when you first started learning to cook, but now you need to master more complicated tasks to earn a jackpot. Stop questioning my training techniques and add the cayenne.”

I do as told.

“Now have one almond.”

I eat one, but boy do I want more. Like the old potato chip ad, it’s hard to have only one.

“Now stir it with the big wood spoon.”

I stir.

“Good boy. Now scoop up a heaping spoonful for me to sample. Get as much on the spoon as you possibly can, and why you’re at it, put a few of those wasabi almonds on top of it. If you get this right, you’ll have definitely earned yourself a jackpot of almond.”

 

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Negotiating with Cookies – Stuck in the Mud

Published on by Raud Kennedy2 Comments

“Raud, I think you’re stuck in the mud,” Fleegle says.

“Why do you say that?”

“We need to do something new.”

“Don’t you like what you do everyday?”

“I like rolling in mud so much I could never get stuck. It’s you we’re talking about. You need to do something new. You seem bored, lacking excitement.”

“It’s just the winter doldrums.”

“Doldrums?”

“The blahs.”

“You don’t see me getting the blahs just because it’s cold and wet outside.”

“No, you’re impervious to weather related mood swings.”

“Ooo, a swing. I’ve never been on a swing. They look like fun. Maybe you should do that, go for a swing? I’ll push you, and then we can trade and you can push me. It’ll be just like flying in Fleegle World.”

“You remember your dreams?”

“Of course. Don’t you?”

“I can still taste the fur in my mouth.”

“You have to fly really high to get over the Chocolate Rockies. That mountainous tail whacked you in the head so hard it knocked you clear out of the dream.”

 

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Negotiating with Cookies – Fleegle Time

Published on by Raud KennedyLeave a comment

Monday morning, the thumping of Fleegle’s tail against my face wakes me. I vaguely remember flying in my dream, but it’s the dog fur in my mouth that has my attention now. It’s close enough time to the alarm clock going off that I get up and start my day, and soon Fleegle and I are on our way to our first appointment.

Fleegle watches the road closely from his co-pilot seat. He knows our work schedule based on the roads we take. “Ooo, we’re going to Little Daisy’s house. I love Little Daisy.”

“That’s right,” I say, but then get a phone call. I let it go to voice mail since I’m driving and then pull over when I can to check it. Little Daisy’s sciatica is acting up and her owner wants to reschedule for another day later in the week.

When traffic is clear, I make a u-turn and head to our next appointment, a dog we normally see on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but whose owner added an extra day this week.

“What are you doing?” Fleegle moans in near panic. “What about Little Daisy? I love her. She likes it when I groom her.”

“Change of plans.”

“That’s all you have to say, change of plans?” he says and growls, not happy with me for getting his hopes up to see Little Daisy and then letting him down, but he settles in to watching the road again. “Ooo, we’re going to Big Daisy’s house now. I love Big Daisy. She likes to wrestle.”

Big Daisy is a Newfoundland. “She sure does,” I say. Fleegle knows a lot of Daisys and Sadies and Zoës.

“But we don’t wrestle with Big Daisy until Tuesday. Is this Tuesday? What happened to Monday? Did we even have a Monday? Did your change of plans make Monday disappear? Just how long was that last nap of mine?”

 

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