Tag: Chocolate Lab

Negotiating with Cookies – Matchmaker

Published on by Raud KennedyLeave a comment

“Raud, I think you should date a massage therapist,” Fleegle says.

“The last thing someone wants to do in their off time is more of what they do for work.”

“That would explain my limited training. I can blame that on you then?”

“Yep. Me and the lure of the couch.”

“And the television.”

“Most definitely the television. And sugar cravings which lead to sugar crashes.”

“On the couch,” he says.

“Yep.”

“So if we got rid of sugar, television and the couch, I’d be a lot better trained?”

“Yep, among other things.”

“Then I think you should date a dietician. Your logic says they live on macaroni and cheese and burgers all week long.”

“So you don’t mind being minimally trained?”

Fleegle smiles. “Let me put it this way, Raud. I may be minimally trained, but you certainly aren’t. Should I get your leash for you now?”

“Yes, please.”

 

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Negotiating with Cookies – Names

Published on by Raud Kennedy4 Comments

“Is my whole name, Fleegle Kennedy?” Fleegle asks me.

“Nope, your whole name is Fleegle.”

“You mean I’m not a Kennedy?”

“You’re a Fleegle.”

“Does that make you a Fleegle too.”

“No, I’m still a Kennedy.”

“Aren’t I adopted and doesn’t that make me a Kennedy?”

“You’re not adopted. You’re your own dog with your own name.”

“But you raised me.”

“I only showed you a few of the ropes.”

“I like tug of war.” Fleegle grows silent, thinking.

“What’s this about?” I ask.

“Most dogs have their family’s name and get two or three names, like Wiggles at the dog park, his full name is Wiggles Crowden-Popplewell. His owners aren’t married so they hyphenate.”

“You want more names? Technically, your name is whatever is on your papers.”

“I have papers?”

“Yes, but I never filled them out and sent them in because we never planned to compete in AKC stuff.”

“Can we fill them out now and I’ll choose my own name?”

“Sure. What are you going to name yourself?”

“Fleegle F. Fleegle.”

“The F. stands for your middle name?”

“Yes. Fleegle.”

“So your name will be…”

“Fleegle Fleegle Fleegle. Well, you know how you always have to my name three times to get my attention.”

 

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Negotiating with Cookies – Fleegle Wants a Remodel

Published on by Raud Kennedy1 Comment

While reading in the den I start to get that uncomfortable feeling that I’m being watched. I turn around and Fleegle is sitting behind me silently staring at the back of my head.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“I’m looking through your head and out through your eyes, seeing the world as you see it.”

“You’re a weird dog, you know that? So what do you see? Are you enjoying my book?”

“Well, it’s okay, but you read too much. Is staring at squiggles and dots on a page a form of that meditation you do trying to contact your higher self? Did your higher self finally fall from sky and land in this book?”

“Nope, not this book. The squiggles and dots tell a story about a man living on the moon.”

“He must really love cheese to live on the moon. Is there chocolate cheese?”

“There’s chocolate cheese cake.”

“Ooo, I’m going to dream about that in Fleegle World tonight so I can have some.”

“There’s also chocolate mousse,” I say.

“That must be why moose stay up north in the cold. Otherwise they’d melt in the summer and get licked up by squirrels.”

“And there’s chocolate covered ants.”

“The big carpenter ants or the tiny red ones that bite?” he asks.

“I don’t know. I’ve never had them.”

“Me neither. I’ve tried eating bees but they stung my tongue and they tasted like flowers. It’s much easier to just eat the flower.”

I get out of my chair and drop to all fours.

“What are you doing?” Fleegle asks.

“I’m looking at life from your perspective.”

“Really? Then take a look at my dog door. It needs to be bigger.”

“But you get in and out of it just fine.”

“Yes, but my sticks don’t.”

 

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Negotiating with Cookies – The Shoes Make the Dog

Published on by Raud KennedyLeave a comment

After I finish showering and getting dressed, I sit down to put on my shoes.

Fleegle carries over one of my running shoes and drops it at my feet. “Put this one on,” he says, then carries over a hiking boot and drops it next to the running shoe. “And this one.”

I look down at the two mismatched shoes, both lefties. “Why?”

“Because I want to go running, and when I get tired, I want to hike through the woods looking for a good stick to chew.”

I push the running shoe and hiking boot aside and reach for my cowboy boots.

“Not those, Raud,” Fleegle whines. “Standing around and posing is so boring. Have you even met a horse? They’re so big, if you’re not careful they can poop on your head.”

I reach for my hat, a silver belly rancher. “I think I’ll wear my hat too.” I get it positioned on my head just right, stand and look down at Fleegle. “Maybe we could trade in your walking harness and leash for a horse halter and lead rope.”

“Some big macho cowboy you’ll be with his little chocolate pony.”

 

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