Dog Humor – Page 12 – Gnawing the Bone

Copilot

Published on May 15, 2013December 24, 2013 by Raud Kennedy9 Comments

I was crawling through traffic behind a bumper sticker that read, “God is my Copilot.”

I looked over at Nut Breath, sitting in my copilot seat, and asked what he thought about this. He was far too busy with his personal hygiene to answer.

Sparkatus

Published on May 3, 2013December 24, 2013 by Raud Kennedy3 Comments

He looked like a genetically modified coconut standing on four fury legs in the middle of the dog park as he shook his head in disagreement with his friend and housemate. “No giant dog is going to fall from the sky and smash everyone’s backyard gate,” he said. “Sparkatus is a myth. Dogs throw his story around and the one about the Night of the Broken Gates when they’re bored and depressed, stuck in the their yard sniffing their own piles of… well, you know what I mean. And who can blame them? Not every dog gets out and travels like we do. I’ve peed on sixty-four trees just this morning.”

“Sparkatus is not a myth. He’s real,” said Coconut’s housemate, a mutt, who was big and round like a watermelon. “I talked to a friend on the way into the park who said he’s seen Sparkatus, that he’s in town, and that he actually sniffed his butt. Can you believe that? Sniffed the but of Sparkatus?” Continue reading “Sparkatus” →

The Next Moon Landing

Published on April 20, 2013December 24, 2013 by Raud Kennedy5 Comments

Zoe Hires a New Dog Walker

Published on April 17, 2013December 24, 2013 by Raud Kennedy6 Comments

Hottest Leg Humper in Town

Published on April 14, 2013April 14, 2013 by Raud Kennedy2 Comments

Duane had difficulty admitting it, but he wished his girlfriend would treat him like she did her dog. He watched Tina talk to Andy, nuzzling his little toy poodle face and cooing softly how wonderful he was, and he wished she spoke to him in that same loving way. Andy soaked up her attention and gave little in return. A dog’s life looked so easy and carefree to Duane, but he envied dogs because they were loved without even trying, loved for simply existing. Tina wasn’t even half as affectionate toward him.

Duane made all the effort and Tina was like Andy, soaking up all his love and attention without feeling any need to reciprocate. When they had sex, if he didn’t have an orgasm at the same time as she did, she made no move to notice. The first few times he let it pass. He didn’t feel he should have to ask for her to reciprocate, and no guy wants to sound like some whiny bitch by saying something like, “What about me?” Continue reading “Hottest Leg Humper in Town” →