Tag: dog photos

Greasy Heroes

Published on by Raud Kennedy7 Comments
Raud Kennedy - Heroes
“What was that?”

Dean watched his dog dream of chasing footloose dollar drive-thru burgers across the backyard. They were dropping from the gray sky like the 82nd Airborne, hundreds of them, no, thousands of them, invading the whole neighborhood, no, all of Portland, no, the entire planet. The budget burgers were here to conquer the world and the only thing preventing them from drowning all two-leggers in watered downed ketchup and shooting their arteries with grease bullets, was Dean’s dog, Pickles. Continue reading “Greasy Heroes” →

Fleegle’s Advice to his Dog-Friends

Published on by Raud Kennedy7 Comments
Raud Kennedy - Fleegle's Advice to his Dog-Friends
Fleegle Says

At six months old, this is what I’ve learned so far:

  • Lean hamburger is good, but the fatty kind is healthier for you.
  • Cat food is good for dogs too. It’s an urban myth that it gives us gas.
  • Dog poop should be left where it lands. Cat poop should be picked up diligently–by dogs.
  • Picking up poop is very unhealthy for two-leggers, but eating it is just fine for us dogs.
  • Having four legs is definitely more graceful than just two, but a bucketful of chicken legs from KFC beats both.
  • Barking gets you what you want, but whining will get it faster, and the higher pitch the whine the quicker the two-legger will snap to it.
  • A cute play bow will trump a growl in any encounter.
  • Snoring is beautiful. It comforts your two-legger to know you’re near and that helps them sleep.
  • Grooming is best done at 3am on your two-legger’s bed, preferably while sharing the pillow.
  • If your stomach is upset, 3am is also the time to puke, also preferably on the bed but not on the pillow. Use the foot of the bed. Your two-legger will appreciate you doing it so late because it will give them an excuse not to deal with it until morning.

Copilot

Published on by Raud Kennedy9 Comments

Raud Kennedy - CopilotI was crawling through traffic behind a bumper sticker that read, “God is my Copilot.”

I looked over at Nut Breath, sitting in my copilot seat, and asked what he thought about this. He was far too busy with his personal hygiene to answer.

Sparkatus

Published on by Raud Kennedy3 Comments
Raud Kennedy - Sparkatus
“The Night of the Broken Gates is coming.”

He looked like a genetically modified coconut standing on four fury legs in the middle of the dog park as he shook his head in disagreement with his friend and housemate. “No giant dog is going to fall from the sky and smash everyone’s backyard gate,” he said. “Sparkatus is a myth. Dogs throw his story around and the one about the Night of the Broken Gates when they’re bored and depressed, stuck in the their yard sniffing their own piles of… well, you know what I mean. And who can blame them? Not every dog gets out and travels like we do. I’ve peed on sixty-four trees just this morning.”

“Sparkatus is not a myth. He’s real,” said Coconut’s housemate, a mutt, who was big and round like a watermelon. “I talked to a friend on the way into the park who said he’s seen Sparkatus, that he’s in town, and that he actually sniffed his butt. Can you believe that? Sniffed the but of Sparkatus?” Continue reading “Sparkatus” →