I was crawling through traffic behind a bumper sticker that read, “God is my Copilot.”
I looked over at Nut Breath, sitting in my copilot seat, and asked what he thought about this. He was far too busy with his personal hygiene to answer.
Tag: dog
Secret Admirer
The two dogs stood next to one another, sniffing the dog park ground for news.
“I’ve been sending my two-legger love poems for weeks now.”
“You’ve been doing what?”
“I felt sorry for him and he looked like he needed cheering up, but now he thinks he has a secret admirer, which is true, but he thinks it’s a two-legger woman who’s in love with him. Now I’m even more sorry for him.”
“You got to love the computer. With a pencil in your mouth you can type anything and you don’t even need the pencil to hit the buy button. I can do that with my nose. My two-legger should be getting six cases of canned chili from Preppers-R-Us any day now.” Continue reading “Secret Admirer”
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Dog Breath
When my dog, Wyatt, was dying of kidney failure, there was a distinct odor to his breath that my vet said was due to his failing kidneys. His breath had always been unique to him. None of the other dogs I encountered had his distinct odor of breath and I encountered a good many through work in the four years I had him. Early on I didn’t think much of it because he had a penchant for eating poop and I associated it with that and it wasn’t until the end that it became noticeably strong.
Recently, while playing with my five month old puppy, Fleegle, I smelled this same distinct odor on his breath. Fleegle is related to Wyatt. He was sired by one of Wyatt’s littermates and as I remembered my vet telling me there could be a genetic component to kidney disease in dogs, I began to worry. Continue reading “Dog Breath”
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Zoe Hires a New Dog Walker
Hottest Leg Humper in Town
Duane had difficulty admitting it, but he wished his girlfriend would treat him like she did her dog. He watched Tina talk to Andy, nuzzling his little toy poodle face and cooing softly how wonderful he was, and he wished she spoke to him in that same loving way. Andy soaked up her attention and gave little in return. A dog’s life looked so easy and carefree to Duane, but he envied dogs because they were loved without even trying, loved for simply existing. Tina wasn’t even half as affectionate toward him.
Duane made all the effort and Tina was like Andy, soaking up all his love and attention without feeling any need to reciprocate. When they had sex, if he didn’t have an orgasm at the same time as she did, she made no move to notice. The first few times he let it pass. He didn’t feel he should have to ask for her to reciprocate, and no guy wants to sound like some whiny bitch by saying something like, “What about me?” Continue reading “Hottest Leg Humper in Town”
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Elvis Watches Over
Gnawing the Bone 