Tag: Dogs

Negotiating with Cookies – Social Media

Published on by Raud Kennedy2 Comments

Today is the day during the garbage pick-up cycle where unwanted electronic hardware like printers and computers can be left out on the curb and Waste Management will cart them away.

While on our walk, Fleegle stops to sniff the tower of an old desktop computer, and before I know it, he’s lifted his leg on it.

“Hey, what are you doing?” I say.

“Updating your Facebook page.” He looks over his shoulder at me. “Do you want me to Tweet something for you too? Tell the world you just stubbed your toe?”

 

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Negotiating with Cookies – Fleegle Solves It

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“Ooo, Raud, are you drawing again?” Fleegle asks, breathing over my shoulder.

“Yep.”

“What is that? It looks like my dog door.”

“It’s a square.” I add a few more lines and turn it into a cube. “Now it’s a block.”

“Oh, you have writer’s block again, huh?”

I nod.

“You should use that big pink eraser you’ve got there and erase that block, then draw me another big meaty bone.”

 

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Negotiating with Cookies – Poetry

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“Ooo, this is good tasting grass,” Fleegle says between bites as he grazes on the fresh spring growth. After he’s had his fill, he lifts his leg on the nearest upright object, a rhododendron shrub, and takes one of the longest pees ever.

“Fleegle, haven’t you peed on that rhodie enough? You’re going to kill it if you don’t spread your wiz around.”

“Hey, I’m writing a poem. It may not be the best poem ever, but it’s not that bad.”

“And what’s your poem about?”

“It’s a love poem to grass. In my next life I want to be born a cow. I’ll stand around all day and do nothing but graze in the fields.”

 

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Negotiating with Cookies – Midlife

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“What’s a midlife crisis?” Fleegle asks.

“That’s when men in their 40s or 50s trade in the family car for a red sports car that seats two and start wearing jeans that are too tight.”

“What good is a car without a place to stretch out? Do women have midlife crisis?”

“Maybe, but the midlife crisis is more associated with men trying to be teenagers again, especially men who are recently divorced.”

“What about dogs? Do I get a red ball when I hit midlife?”

 

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Negotiating with Cookies – Dog Park

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Fleegle walks up to where I’m standing at the dog park, grumbling about something. “Petulant, spoiled, entitled, immature, arrogant, narcissistic, twit,” Fleegle says, rubbing his paw on his nose.

“Who are you talking about?” I ask.

“That poodle over there that bit me.”

“Where’d you learn all those words?”

“I’m just repeating what you said about the poodle’s owner when she cut you off in the parking lot in her shiny car.”

“Oh.”

“You know how Labradors are called Labs for short? Are poodles called poo?”

“When they bite you they are,” I say.

“Or cut you off,” Fleegle says.

 

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