Tag: Dogs

Negotiating with Cookies #16 – Pizza

Published on by Raud Kennedy1 Comment

I end the call and set my phone on my desk.

Fleegle runs over and nose bumps my leg. “Pizza? You said pizza on the phone, didn’t you?”

“Yes, I did. I just ordered one from the take and bake.”

He runs to the door leading to the garage. “Come on, let’s go.”

I remain seated. “Hold your horses. They need to make the pizza before we go pick it up. There isn’t any rush.”

His butt leads him through a spin of a circle. “What do you mean there’s no rush?” He spins another circle. “We need to go pick it up before someone else gets it. Like someone who isn’t busy holding their horses. Who are these horses anyway? Am I going to have to share my pizza with them?”

 

Next: Negotiating with Cookies #17 – Take and Bake

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Start at the beginning: Negotiating with Cookies #1 – Stinky Butt

Negotiating with Cookies #15 – Sharing, Or Not

Published on by Raud KennedyLeave a comment

“Hey, chunky monkey, how’s it going?” I say to Fleegle as he joins me on the couch to watch television.

“I’m not as chunky as you. Look at your big couch potato belly. Pressing that remote must give you quite the workout. Changing the channel is like a hundred pound bench press for your thumb. And lifting that spoonful of ice cream all the way to your mouth, well that must be like running a marathon for your arm. Very impressive.”

“Shush, watch the show,” I say.

“The show is just there to occupy your eyes while your mouth does all the work, like your jaw on a Stairmaster. I’m on to you. Always with the chocolate.”

“How do you mean?”

Fleegle snorts his derision. “You only bought chocolate ice cream so you wouldn’t have to share with me.”

“It’s not my fault dogs can’t eat chocolate.”

“You tell me it’s bad for me every time you bring it home. What’s wrong with getting vanilla or strawberry for a change? I like vanilla and strawberry.”

“I happen to like chocolate more than vanilla and strawberry.”

“No, you happen to like not sharing.” He jumps off the couch and leaves the room, then returns with a very slimy tennis ball he was chewing on earlier and drops the filthy thing in my lap, slobber and all.

“What’s this?” I ask.

“I’m teaching you by example.” He nudges the gooey mess with his nose, smearing dog spit and mud on my jeans. “I’m sharing my ball.”

 

Next: Negotiating with Cookies #16 –  Pizza

Previous: Negotiating with Cookies #14 – Clothes

Start at the beginning: Negotiating with Cookies #1 – Stinky Butt