Tag: Fiction

Negotiating with Cookies – Daylight Savings Time

Published on by Raud KennedyLeave a comment

Still half asleep, I set Fleegle’s food bowl in its stand as he waits, drooling as he watches.

“Breakfast is early,” he says.

All I can do is grunt an affirmative and go in search of coffee.

*   *   *

I scoop a cup of kibble into Fleegle’s food bowl for his lunch. More drool as he watches.

“Lunch is early too? What’s going on?” he asks.

I shake my head, still sleepy from lack of sleep. “Daylight Savings Time. We lost an hour.”

“How can you lose an hour?”

I rub my eyes. “A shared group psychosis.”

“A what?”

“If everyone decides blue is red, then blue is red even though blue isn’t red.”

“Ah, that sounds like one of those crazy people things only you guys understand. Got it,” he says and digs into his food.

*   *   *

I put Fleegle’s dinner in front of him.

“Dinner is early too. I like this group psychosis thing called Daylight Savings Time, but where do you save the light? Can you take it out when it gets dark, like in the middle of the night when you need to hunt for a snack? Are you saving the light inside the light bulbs? I’ve always wondered how they worked.”

*   *   *

I click off the television and head to the bedroom.

Fleegle looks up from his spot on the couch. “Raud, where are you going? It’s too early for bedtime.”

“No, it’s not. This is the time we always go to bed.”

Fleegle follows me into the bedroom and nose bumps the clock on the nightstand. “Your time machine may say it’s time for bed, but my stomach says we’ve got a good hour to have a snack before bed, maybe a plate of cottage cheese or some cold pizza, and nothing tells time better than my stomach.”

“Fleegle, as of this morning blue is red and red is blue. In six months, blue will be blue and red will be red again.”

“Well, Raud, you can play all the mind games you want, but that’s not going to stop my stomach from growling. Let’s use some of that light you’ve saved and look around in the fridge. Maybe we can find some cold fried chicken or pizza slices.”

 

Next Negotiating with Cookies – The Candyman

Previous Negotiating with Cookies – The Meat Special

Chapter Six – The Hagg Lake Incident

Published on by Raud KennedyLeave a comment

the watermelon has landedFollowing a hunch, Crank Case sits in a coffee shop, after changing into civilian clothes to blend in, across from the building his team searched earlier in the day. His cell phone vibrates. It’s the tech from the lab reporting on the samples taken from the circles on the roof deck. “Go ahead,” he says.

“Sir, the samples read the same as the soil taken from the Hagg Lake incident.”

He’s referring to an incident where an object on radar entered the atmosphere and they tracked it to Oregon where it slowed considerably and put down west of Portland in the forest by Henry Hagg Lake. Case’s team were already in the area investigating an unrelated case and were wheels up in the helicopter in minutes. They flew into the forest and arrived on the scene in time to see the craft land. The craft was shaped like a large globe the size of a garbage truck. They put down, approached the craft on foot and had it surrounded within minutes. Case remembers thinking, finally some proof to show his superiors that he’s been right all these years and that he’s not the nut job his superiors think he is. But before they got close enough to board the craft, it disappeared right in front of them and all that was left were a pack of feral dogs that must’ve been drawn to the craft’s landing. Continue reading “Chapter Six – The Hagg Lake Incident” →

Chapter Five – The Astronaut

Published on by Raud KennedyLeave a comment

the watermelon has landedIt’s so quiet in the boys’ bedroom, the city street life outside the thick windows eighteen stories below can even be heard. A car horn. A shout. A distant siren.

Peanut hits Otto hard in the shoulder. “That was so cool, dude. I totally believed it was the dog talking. Do it again,” he says and shoves him.

The dog growls. “You shouldn’t hit Otto like that.”

Peanut hits him again, even harder. “Dang, that’s good. When did you learn the ventriloquist dummy routine?”

Walt leans toward the dog. “Umm, I don’t think he has.”

Peanut looks at Walt, then at Otto. “Of course he has. Do it again, but this time I’ll watch your mouth to see if I can spot your lips moving.”

The dog stares at Peanut staring at Otto. “Maybe he learned the dummy part from growing up with you.” Continue reading “Chapter Five – The Astronaut” →

Chapter Four – The Nuts

Published on by Raud KennedyLeave a comment

the watermelon has landedOtto slides the key into the lock, turns and pushes open the apartment door, then leads the dog down the hall to the bedroom he shares with his brothers. He hears the video games they’re playing before he pushes open the bedroom door. Both of the nuts are so transfixed battling it out on the latest release of Cyclops Massacre that they don’t notice Otto and the dog come in. This isn’t unusual. Otto is quiet and floats under the radar, avoiding detection and torment.

The dog sits at his side, watching the screen quietly until a gruesome Cyclops appears onscreen and roars, then he starts his quiet growl like he did in the elevator.

Without looking away from the screen at Otto, Peanut says, “Oddo, go growl somewhere else, you’re distracting me from finally taking the Cyclops crown from Walt.”

“Growl as much and as loud as you want, Otto,” Walt says. “Peter, half of winning is staying focused.”

An even bigger Cyclops jumps on screen, causing the dog to bark. Game play stops as both nuts turn to look. Continue reading “Chapter Four – The Nuts” →

Negotiating with Cookies – The Meat Special

Published on by Raud KennedyLeave a comment

I hang up the phone after talking with Fleegle’s breeder, Suzie.

“So what did she say?” Fleegle asks, his front paws bouncing on the floor next to my desk. “Has my parents’ matchmaker been busy making matches?”

“Um, yes. She has a litter right now with a yellow female available.”

Fleegle darts to the garage. “Let’s go, Raud.”

“Hold up. She’s too young to leave her mom and the puppy nursery. Suzie says she needs to fatten up first.”

“Well then, what are you waiting for? Call the pizza joint and have them deliver an extra large ‘meat special’ to the puppy nursery. Pizza has done wonders for your waistline.”

 

Next Negotiating with Cookies – Daylight Savings Time

Previous Negotiating with Cookies – Stumped

Chapter Three – Lock Down

Published on by Raud KennedyLeave a comment

the watermelon has landedWhen Otto and the astro-dog get back from their walk, Otto’s building looks like it’s on a terror alert. A really loud helicopter circles above and two soldiers in dark blue fatigues, holding automatic weapons across their chests, stand guard at the entrance. One checks who goes in and the other checks who comes out. The nuts must’ve done something really bad this time, Otto thinks. It’ll be the last straw and off to military boarding school they’ll go. Otto will get a bedroom all to himself, but it’ll be way too quiet with them gone.

The top of Otto’s head comes to the soldier’s hip as he blocks Otto’s way to the building entrance. “Are you a resident of this building?”

Otto nods. “Yep.”

The soldier cradles his gun, rocking it like it’s a crying baby. “I need to see some identification.”

Otto looks down at the dog. “I sure hope you have some identification because I don’t.” He looks up at the gun. He’s never seen one up this close. It’s shiny and oily, like Billy Thorton’s hair who sits in front of him in math class. “Will dog tags do?” Continue reading “Chapter Three – Lock Down” →