Tag: Anthropomorphic Dog Fiction

Negotiating with Cookies #12 – Meal Time

Published on by Raud Kennedy4 Comments

I’m sitting at my desk filling out next week’s dog training schedule when Fleegle comes in from outside, sits next to me and stares.

I glance at the wall clock. “It’s not time for your dinner yet. It’s only 3:30.”

“But I’m hungry, Raud, really hungry. I think I might be starving. I bet it doesn’t take long to starve. I might waste away in a matter of minutes. Are you sure you want to take that kind of risk? It’s got to be time to eat. Just looking at your shoes makes me salivate.”

“It’s not time.”

“But my stomach tells me it’s time to eat and I trust my stomach over any dumb clock on the wall. I bet that clock runs on batteries.”

“It does.” I glance at it, then look a little closer. The second hand has stopped moving. “Oops.”

“Oops is right. You can make up for it by giving me an extra scoop of kibble.”

 

Next: #13 – One Scoop, Two Scoops…

Previous: Negotiating with Cookies #11  – John Wayne

Start at the beginning: Negotiating with Cookies #1 – Stinky Butt

 

Negotiating with Cookies #4 – The Garage Sale

Published on by Raud Kennedy1 Comment

I gather up an armful of tired looking toys and pass Fleegle in the kitchen on my way to the garage.

“Where are you going with all my toys?” Fleegle asks.

“We’re having a garage sale.”

He cocks his head to the side. “You’re going to sell my toys?”

“They’ve been sitting untouched in your toy basket for so long I figured you were bored with them.

He follows me out to the garage, but now he’s carrying something in his mouth and it’s not a toy. “What have you got there?” I ask.

“Your remote to the television,” he slurs around the hard plastic. “It’s your donation to the garage sale. Think of it as going on a diet for the mind and you’re cutting out visual junk food.”

I do a 180 and return the armful of toys to his basket and he drops the remote back on the coffee table. Détente is re-established.

In the kitchen, he grabs his crate by its door and starts dragging it toward the garage.

“What are you up to now?” I ask.

“I’m going to sell my crate at your garage sale.”

Next: Negotiating with Cookies #5 – Furbabies

Previous: Negotiating with Cookies #3 – The Remote

Start at the beginning: Negotiating with Cookies #1 – Stinky Butt

Negotiating with Cookies #3 – The Remote

Published on by Raud Kennedy3 Comments

“What’s that you got in your crate?” I ask Fleegle, pointing at something small and black inside it.

His tail wags. “Well, Raud, that’s one of your remotes. I think it’s to the television.”

I look at him suspiciously. “What’s it doing in there?”

He sits, his tail now sweeping the floor behind him. “Think of it as me tossing a cookie in there for you.”

“Ha ha, very funny.” I get down on all fours and crawl in to retrieve the remote, still wet with dog slobber, but thankfully not yet chewed on. The crate door bangs against my feet. “What are you doing out there?”

“I’m giving my crate to you and you’re moving in. Now that it’s yours, do you want a stuffed Kong to chew on while I’m out carousing the neighborhood with my friends?”

Next: Negotiating with Cookies #4 – The Garage Sale

Previous:Negotiating with Cookies # 2 – The Crate

Start at the beginning: Negotiating with Cookies #1 – Stinky Butt

Negotiating with Cookies – The Crate

Published on by Raud Kennedy4 Comments

I hold the crate door open for Fleegle.

He stands his ground and stares at me. “No. I’m not going in my crate.”

“Why not?” I ask.

“Because.”

“Because what?”

“How come it’s my crate? Why isn’t it yours?”

I look at the crate, which is small for me, then back at him. “Well, have you ever seen me get in it?”

“If you get in I’ll get in.”

“I’m sure you would. That would be very cozy.”

“I like cozy.”

“I know you do,” I say and toss a dog cookie in the back of the crate.

“Oh boy, a cookie,” he says as he runs in after it. His tail thumps against the inside of the crate as the cookie crunches inside his mouth.

I put a Kong stuffed with frozen peanut butter in behind him and close the door. He hears the latch close and turns around to face the door.

“Cat butt! I fell for it again, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did.”

Next: Negotiating with Cookies #3 – The Remote

Start at the beginning: Negotiating with Cookies #1 – Stinky Butt

Negotiating with Cookies #1 – Stinky Butt

Published on by Raud Kennedy4 Comments

I’m in my den reading, when Fleegle, the chocolate Lab, walks in. “Hello, Mr. Stinky Butt,” I say, using one of my many endearments for him.

“My butt doesn’t stink,” he says. “I can reach around and lick it. It’s always clean.”

“So that’s what that goobering sound is in the middle of the night that wakes me.”

“Yep, doesn’t stink one bit. In fact I try to keep other dogs clean too by licking their butts. You’re the one with the stinky butt because you can’t reach yours. You want me to help you with that?”

“Um, no, but thanks. I think I’ll just continue to stink, if that’s okay with you.”

“I don’t mind, Raud, because I love you with or without your stinky butt.”

Next: Negotiating with Cookies #2 – The Crate

Bacon

Published on by Raud KennedyLeave a comment
"Are you awake yet?"
“Are you awake yet?”

When Hank fell asleep to the sound of Goober, his dog, snoring next to him, he dreamed Goober had become a man and he was now his dog. Goober was a particularly good dog owner because he still remembered what it was like to be a dog even though he was now a man. Hank looked up to him like he was the greatest being on earth, especially since he was feeding him the most delicious snacks he’d ever tasted, even tastier than the ribs at his favorite barbeque joint.

When Hank woke from the dream, Goober was laying next to him, waiting for his eyes to open, and when they did, his tail went thump-thump against the bedspread. It always made Hank smile at how Goober would wag his tail at the smallest things, but this morning it made him take him for a run along the river where there were countless stinky things for Goober to stick his snout in, and afterward he planned to cook up a big breakfast of bacon and eggs for both of them. Goober would love that. Continue reading “Bacon” →