Tag: flash fiction

Negotiating with Cookies #3 – The Remote

Published on by Raud Kennedy3 Comments

“What’s that you got in your crate?” I ask Fleegle, pointing at something small and black inside it.

His tail wags. “Well, Raud, that’s one of your remotes. I think it’s to the television.”

I look at him suspiciously. “What’s it doing in there?”

He sits, his tail now sweeping the floor behind him. “Think of it as me tossing a cookie in there for you.”

“Ha ha, very funny.” I get down on all fours and crawl in to retrieve the remote, still wet with dog slobber, but thankfully not yet chewed on. The crate door bangs against my feet. “What are you doing out there?”

“I’m giving my crate to you and you’re moving in. Now that it’s yours, do you want a stuffed Kong to chew on while I’m out carousing the neighborhood with my friends?”

Next: Negotiating with Cookies #4 – The Garage Sale

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Start at the beginning: Negotiating with Cookies #1 – Stinky Butt

Negotiating with Cookies – The Crate

Published on by Raud Kennedy4 Comments

I hold the crate door open for Fleegle.

He stands his ground and stares at me. “No. I’m not going in my crate.”

“Why not?” I ask.

“Because.”

“Because what?”

“How come it’s my crate? Why isn’t it yours?”

I look at the crate, which is small for me, then back at him. “Well, have you ever seen me get in it?”

“If you get in I’ll get in.”

“I’m sure you would. That would be very cozy.”

“I like cozy.”

“I know you do,” I say and toss a dog cookie in the back of the crate.

“Oh boy, a cookie,” he says as he runs in after it. His tail thumps against the inside of the crate as the cookie crunches inside his mouth.

I put a Kong stuffed with frozen peanut butter in behind him and close the door. He hears the latch close and turns around to face the door.

“Cat butt! I fell for it again, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did.”

Next: Negotiating with Cookies #3 – The Remote

Start at the beginning: Negotiating with Cookies #1 – Stinky Butt

Negotiating with Cookies #1 – Stinky Butt

Published on by Raud Kennedy4 Comments

I’m in my den reading, when Fleegle, the chocolate Lab, walks in. “Hello, Mr. Stinky Butt,” I say, using one of my many endearments for him.

“My butt doesn’t stink,” he says. “I can reach around and lick it. It’s always clean.”

“So that’s what that goobering sound is in the middle of the night that wakes me.”

“Yep, doesn’t stink one bit. In fact I try to keep other dogs clean too by licking their butts. You’re the one with the stinky butt because you can’t reach yours. You want me to help you with that?”

“Um, no, but thanks. I think I’ll just continue to stink, if that’s okay with you.”

“I don’t mind, Raud, because I love you with or without your stinky butt.”

Next: Negotiating with Cookies #2 – The Crate

Bacon

Published on by Raud KennedyLeave a comment
"Are you awake yet?"
“Are you awake yet?”

When Hank fell asleep to the sound of Goober, his dog, snoring next to him, he dreamed Goober had become a man and he was now his dog. Goober was a particularly good dog owner because he still remembered what it was like to be a dog even though he was now a man. Hank looked up to him like he was the greatest being on earth, especially since he was feeding him the most delicious snacks he’d ever tasted, even tastier than the ribs at his favorite barbeque joint.

When Hank woke from the dream, Goober was laying next to him, waiting for his eyes to open, and when they did, his tail went thump-thump against the bedspread. It always made Hank smile at how Goober would wag his tail at the smallest things, but this morning it made him take him for a run along the river where there were countless stinky things for Goober to stick his snout in, and afterward he planned to cook up a big breakfast of bacon and eggs for both of them. Goober would love that. Continue reading “Bacon” →

Fat Shmat

Published on by Raud Kennedy10 Comments

Raud Kennedy - gnawing the bone - sadieI talk to my dogs. Anyone who has dogs talks to them. Even people without them talk to dogs when they meet them on the sidewalk or in Home Depot. When I talk to my dogs, I answer back for them in my dog voice.

“Do you want to lick the bucket?” I ask Sadie, my golden retriever, after finishing a tub of yogurt and setting it on the floor.

“You really need to ask that after all these years?” Sadie answers back in my dog voice. “For a dog trainer, you’re not very observant. Maybe we should practice. Go get some more buckets, ask me if I want to lick them, then put them on the floor.” Continue reading “Fat Shmat” →